Friday, July 20, 2007

And in other news

Study: Anti-smoking ads have opposite effect on teens. And water is still wet. My smokes are up to over $6 a pack, and I'm sure half of that goes to nonsense such as funding these silly ads. Cute girls have gotten far more teenaged boys smoking than Joe Camel ever did. On the plus-side, due to this new puritanism, I've made all sorts of new friends, as we smokers have been relegated to 10 square-feet of the outside patio, 20 feet from the door of any given bar anymore.

As for why I smoke? Even after 13 years of knowing it's bad for me? Because, let's face it, smoking IS cool. It's only uncool when uncool people do it. If you're fat and ugly, you're fat and ugly; smoking just makes you a fat and ugly smoker. Luis Buñuel, who was far more articulate than I ever will be, summarized why I smoke as follows:

“If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul. People smoke to celebrate a happy moment, or to hide a bitter regret. Whether you're alone or with friends, it's a joy for all the senses. What lovelier sight is there than that double row of white cigarettes, lined up like soldiers on parade and wrapped in silver paper? I love to touch the pack in my pocket, open it, savor the feel of the cigarette between my fingers, the paper on my lips, the taste of tobacco on my tongue. I love to watch the flame spurt up, love to watch it come closer and closer, filling me with its warmth.”

I'll talk about the queen another day. I believe I'll take a cigarette break now.

4 comments:

Unconscious said...

Oh can I get a hell yeah!

Too bad I am just too damn broke to keep smoking, and ... yes I know, no one likes a quiter. But I did, I quit about 2 months ago :(

Jack Gordon said...

Hey, congrats on quitting. Seriously, I'll do it someday, when I have a GOOD reason to. How do you keep drinking without the smoking? I started both at the same time, and just don't find the drinking fulfilling without the nicotine.

Unconscious said...

Well, I cheated, I used CHANTIX! I have quit many times, and nothing has quite work as well and easily as this has. Well worth the purchase.

Unconscious said...

... "Well worth the purchase." cause you can drink and want to ... twice as much, the more you can drink, it oddly helps to ease the burden of quiting .