Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Death Takes a Holiday: Ubersaga Chapter II

Text message to Frankie, 11:54 p.m: “Ur my ride tomorrow morning

The Cadillac STS shot out of the Kyoto parking lot and onto the street like the proverbial bat out of hell. It then did an abrupt U-turn in flagrant disregard of the No U-Turn sign prominently situated on the median across from the mall and headed westward well in excess of any posted speed limit. It occurred to me that nobody in the car was sober enough to be driving legally. A part of me wanted to adjure this chick to slow down, but aside from her speeding, the car was handling pretty well. We were still talking about music when out of nowhere, the car careened to a screeching halt into a parking lot.

“I need my music.” She said, as she fished out a cartridge for a 6-Disc CD changer from somewhere, and got out of the car to load it into the changer in the trunk.

Text message to Frankie, 11:59 p.m.: “I am living 40 year old virgin

As abruptly as we had pulled over, we were off again, at least 20 miles-per-hour over the speed limit. "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark blared out over the stereo. As she sang along with the song, she stuck both her hands out the moon-roof and began swaying back and forth as she steered the car with her knees. We were only about halfway to my place at that point, but I honestly don’t think she was watching the road as she did this. It was, quite frankly, terrifying. She tore through a yellow light as if it were not there at all.

Text message to Frankie, 12:04 a.m.: “I may die soon.”

Text message from Frankie, 12:07 a.m.: “hang in there


Unconscious said...

Great great story Jack! Ladies watch out for the Jack attack! You have inspired me to post something about this... put in my two cents, not that its matters, but you know chicks. We always think what we have to say is important LOL.

Jamm-o-rama said...

Wow! Drunk and driving with her knees! I have sooo not even come close to mastering that one! Keep it up on the story telling! Good stuff my friend.